08.01.06
(written 08.02.06-11:29 a.m.)

the big thing is the check cleared
after that we'll see how it goes
here are all the doors that go outside
and how to put money on your laundry card
"david, do you know how to open the futon."
"I don't, but I'll give it a try."


08.02.06
(written 08.03.06-12:07 p.m.)

if you ask me nicely
i won't go there
being sarcastic about your major life malady
i had thought the levity would help some
but see when you yell like that
i'm gonna say good-bye
so please don't be surprised.


08.03.06
(written 08.05.06-3:47 p.m.)

tell me how i made it through
how u did this to me
tell me how i went there
saw what i did see
turn it on now
turn it on high please
turn it on now
super-size me


08.04.06
(written 08.05.06-3:49 p.m.)

eight weeks
without sending out laundry
eight weeks
is four weeks too long for me
but when yre not going out
more than running an errand
you can rewear an exact outfit
and just flip yr boxers
and hope you don't get hit by a car
and make yr mom frown
but now out of undershirts
and out of boxers, too
and now having money again
i call for laundry pickup
no matter how broke i am.

08.05.06
(written 08.07.06-1:23 a.m.)

it seems so long ago
i guess it is
share with me
and then we'll go
stay


08.06.06
(written 08.07.06-1:29 a.m.)

you're upset at me
so i'll take a nap
three hours later
no more crap
but later you will remember
later you always remember


08.07.06
(written 08.10.06-1:16 a.m.)

mom runs errands
chair repair guy comes
to fix the recliner
that fell apart
he tells me 15 minutes he is done
to get my mom over here
why do u need her
is it just money
yes
it is
so i pay him
i don't have no dough to speak of
so yes mom
please put it back.


08.08.06
(written 08.10.06-1:18 a.m.)

my youngest niece 13 now
in shows since she was real little
back then cute
to see lil, lil kids in grown-up roles.
but now to see 13 yr olds
try to play the parts
of high school seniors in grease
i keep thinking
why don't they age it down
it could still be cool,
but on a junior high school level,
just need a substitute for all of the car stuff
it can be done
if the licensors don't freak.


08.09.06
(written 08.10.06-1:22 a.m.)

stay at folks
an extra day
the fridge is full
the company nice
so why go
dinner's coming
fish from arthur treacher's
mmm mmm.


08.10.06
(written 08.11.06-11:27 p.m.)

back in my apartment again
after four away days
only five days into new roommate days
and i didn't take my laptop with me
because i didn't feel like taking my laptop with me
and i wanted to trust
well, really i was just to lazy to be bothered to take my laptop with me
and the trust was the sideways lie
so back in my apartment again
after four away days
and only five days into new roommate days
and there it is
my two grand plus powerbook g4
with every file i've worked on for the past four years
and many i've worked on for the decade or so before that
none of them backed up
but there it is
my powerbook g4
and it looks like every other possession i have here
though who'd know in the rubble
and i guess the truth is i'd only have to fear
a certain level of poet living here,
mine or a bit higher or lower,
who would want to steal all of my poetry books,
rare and otherwise,
limited edition litmags,
notes from too many authors,
find that holograph allen ginsberg shopping list
when the diabetes had run him down
and he wrote down a few things for me to get for him in boulder.

08.11.06-11:52 p.m.

still haven't used the porn storybooks
i bought on my walk home from the lirr
back from my folks
going into my wallet for the $6.99
skipping past the $10 bill my mom gave me this morning
to the singles i had up front
they're just the longer stories
not the mixture in length that i prefer
still hopeful.


08.12.06
(written 08.16.06-1:33 a.m.)

no rooftop hangout
after this month's garden party
so i walk down houston
buy a half-gallon of tropicana original o.j.
and almost finish it
while waiting for the houston bus
to the eighth avenue bus
to end up three blocks closer to home
than the first avenue bus
to the 23rd street bus
to save from walking underground
and up again.


08.13.06
(written 08.16.06-1:37 a.m.)

start to compile the press releases
that my sister wants me to clean up
for her new magazine
and after placing them in the newly created
deb stuff folder on my desktop
i begin to pass out on my bed
and realizing this deadline is fluid
allow myself to pass out
as if that's what my body's wanting to do
my brain isn't going to do such a good job editing.
later my sister calls
and i tell her i'll have it for her tomorrow
i give her all smoke screen reasons
because she's quite mad
(the insane one, though she's a bit of the upset one, too)
before her hanging up.


08.14.06
(written 08.16.06-1:42 a.m.)

knock off the press releases for my sister
between two judging amys
and one gilmore girls,
the latter a 5:00 p.m. start, so my afternoon target.


08.15.06
(written 08.16.06-1:43 a.m.)

on the phone with brenda i.
and looking for a reaction
as we small press talk
i interrupt,
"it's ok that I'm watching the miss teen u.s.a. pageant, right?"
"do you find that titillating," she asked me.
"i'm not sure the right way to answer that," i said.
"um, no, no."


08.16.06
(written 08.19.06-2:15 a.m.)

it's a wednesday
three weeks before
three of my shows
and so I gather all the names and bios
of who is partaking
follow my format
for my media emailing


08.17.06
(written 08.19.06-1:56 a.m.)

don't tell me you love me
don't tell me, i don't wanna know
'cause once you tell me you love me
i'm probably gonna believe it
right until you blow me off.


08.18.06
(written 08.19.06-1:53 a.m.)

lance bass may be the best actor
of his generation
as i watch the last 30 minutes
of the film on the line
where he finally reconnects
with the L train girl
and a platform kiss.


08.19.06
(written 08.25.06-5:49 p.m.)

it's 20 years after
the mets last world championship team
and they're honoring them today at shea
with lead-in programming on the mets new network
and i catch the last hour of game seven
of that year's world series
before the pregame
and then the introductions of the 1986ers
first gm frank cashen,
again in bowtie,
and then as many players as they could round up,
them clad in uniform tops, circa 1986,
with that oh-so-cheesy blue and orange piping
down the shoulders, and the sides of the tops and pants.
later in the broadcast booth,
1986 mets first baseman keith hernandez
said he always made sure to align the piping
to give himself the best look.


08.20.06
(written 08.25.06-6:01 p.m.)

crying call from big sis
needing me to come out to long island
help her with her new magazine
to get it closed in 10 days
but there's nothing i can't do from my home office i tell her
i've gtot a fax, email, a phone,
i'll help you all i can from here
but she's falling apart,
so i tell her i'll home,
a few minutes before our traveling parents
call to convince me.


08.21.06
(written 08.25.06-6:12 p.m.)

i've been here 24 hours
and haven't done most anything
i could've done this from home
a lot more comforting
every hour or so
sis asks me a publishing question
see she's always been an ad-seller
so she doesn't fully know the edit end
but i could've answered all these questions from my home
but it's seeming more and more
that she just needs me here
someone who she trusts
to make things clear
who when she starts to freak out
because she's new at this
someone to be there,
someone who cares.


08.22.06
(written 08.25.06-6:20 p.m.)

it's the only day of the week
well the first of two
when i call my big brother for a minute or two
to let him know that rockastar: supernova is on right now
that reality show where they're going to find
the new lead singer
for the new supergroup with
a guy from metallica,
a guy from guns 'n' roses,
and tommy lee from motley crue,
it's kind of american idol
but they sing music that we like,
and so each week
the two times that it's on
i call my brother
because even though he never calls
unless he needs something
and so i've stopped calling him
i know that he enjoys this show.


08.23.06
(written 08.25.06-6:30 p.m.)

the results show
from rock star: supernova
are on tonight
so another call to my big brother
who never remembers


08.24.06
(written 08.25.06-6:36 p.m.)

it's tough when i eat out
with my dietary restrictions
i try to get my own dish
so i have my own food
but my sister had her daughter and me
share some vegetable lo mein
and i took some first
and then she took some second
and then she took some third
and as she was going to take some forth
and clean the plate
i told her to stop,
that that was all i could eat
and i’d only taken one portion
and she was now about to take her third
and she gave me a look
as though i were insane
and put the food on her plate,
whereupon i lectured her on why what she did was wrong
before she turned to my sister to cover her back
and she didn’t.


08.25.06
(written 08.29.06-12:26 a.m.)

raven-symone
is a lot heavier
than the rest of the cheetah girls
a surprising thing to see on t.v.
and she's got her own show
also on disney
so body options
for all the young girls


08.26.06
(written 08.29.06-12:21 a.m.)

finally going home
thankfully my meds need replenishing
i love you lithium
now more than ever i do


08.27.06-10:43 p.m.

julia louis-dreyfus just won an emmy
and ended her speech by thanking her two nannies
who allow her to be a working mother.


08.28.06-11:51 p.m.

i'm going to write you today
because today is the day i'm supposed to write you
and it's my favorite day,
so i were to be late that wouldn't be all right

and it was a swell day alright
i saw risa
we ate at trailer park
and talked for a while
and then on the way home to me
bought baskin robbins peanut butter and chocolate,
a jar of sugar free, decaffeinated nestea iced tea,
and two bottles of fresca.


08.29.06
(written 08.31.06-2:00 p.m.)

folks in the city
early-bird dinner at my diner
we both order salmon
(i like salmon)
crosstown for the movie
the parking is better
we laugh like we do
and we do and we do


08.30.06
(written 08.31.06-2:02 p.m.)

reading pages of my sister's magazine
finding mistakes that no one else has seen
i am me, copy editing machine.


08.31.06-10:56 p.m.

when we talk about masturbation
you say you don’t want to know
but you continue the discussion
and we continue the discussion
and i have a photo of you